The You of I : 1st Stage

I’m supposed to bring you into this now. 

I know you want logic, science, and physics. And that is all I have to share with you. My work is undergoing proof and it is checking out. 

I believe some people are sensitive to the Science and Physics, but they lack the knowledge. They talk instead on Spirituality. The lesser educated talk on religion. But it is all Physics. 

Very few people actually know what one studies in Philosophy.

I learned that Mental Illness is only a result of Ignorance; poor Logical Health that results in a lack of Understanding and, in defense of that Ignorance, the Subconscious Mind uses Amnesia to alter our logic to change our behavior. 

This results in a lack of knowing who we are. 

The combination of not Understanding and not Remembering who we are results in Mental Illness. I invented The Philosopher’s Compass to put an individual back together again. I use the 12 Stages of Growth, 3 Stages in 4 parts, to create a single “Compass” that allows the individual to Understand what about themselves they forgot. 

Together, these 12 Stages define The Self. 

The first part of this compass is what I call the I of I. The second part of the Compass is the You of I and the third part of the Compass is the They of I. 

The I of I is the Foundational Core of the Self. 

The You of I is the Civil Core of the Self. 

The They of I is the Communal Core of the Self.

The fourth stage, the Self, is integrating these 12 stages together and, when combined, are the ethical Ingredients that define Love.

And that completes the I of I. 

I am now in Stage 1 of the You of I. 

You are not my Partner. You are not my Friend. You are, and have always been, my You of I. This does not mean that I am your “You of I.” But you, most-definitely, are mine. 

The You of I is simply the Ethical Role Model or “Idol” an Individual chooses to mimic their behavior after. 

In Physics, Music Theory, Cartographer, Dimension Theory, Time, Mathematics, Philosophy, Nautical Astronomy, and in Psychology, any Unit or Point can only be defined by their relativity to another point. Technically, three points are required to define a single point. A coordinate.

The You of I is that Point of Relativity to the I of I or The Self. 

In most cases, the You of I begins as our Relatives. This is why they are called “Our Relatives.” Because we only know who we are in RELATION to our RELATIVES or our Point of Relativity. 

But, if you have toxic Relatives, the individual ends up with an unstable You of I. 

All Human People learn through Mimic, Repetition, and Mirror response. This is how we learn. When an individual decides to improve, they require a Stable and Healthy You of I as a role model with which to mimic, and mirror their behavior. 

This is what you became to me when we first met. And you still are. 

But Codependency creates a closed circuit between two individuals that results in a loss of perspective. For this reason, it is imperative that a healthy and stable They of I is available to both the You of I and the I of I so that they have an Open Circuit with which to preserve their Point of Perspective. 

With every Perspective Stage, new information is learned. And recently, I learned that no one, but the I of I can decide which Perspective Stage they are in. It requires bare, raw, Self-Honesty. Going forward, I will not be telling anyone which Perspective I think they are in. That is something each individual must decide for themselves. 

It requires constant evaluation. 

Also, it is private information that is only for the Individual to know.

The You of I does not need to be an archetype of Ethical perfection. It just has to be someone who the I of I admires. And I admire you. I always have. You are my You of I. 

My gut instinct, my intuition, has always guided me through much of my life. Where I’m supposed to be. Who I am supposed to meet. What I am supposed to be doing. I have always, with a few exceptions, not listened to my Intuition. Every time I ignored my Intuition, I ended up getting raped, including the night in May earlier this year. 

I learned the lesson well. I always listen to my Intuition. It has never been wrong. This is true of most people. But too often people ignore their “gut” instinct or Intuition or they are not “tuned into” it. 

When I tell you that “I am supposed to do” something, I am only referring to the feeling in my gut that tells me what I am or am not supposed to do according to my intuition, which has never steered me wrong. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

And right now, I have a deep gut instinct that is telling me that I am now supposed to tell you about all of this. 

That you are my You of I. That is it. That I admire you so much, that you are my Ethical Role Model. You are not perfect. You don’t have to be. 

And I have my Network and Community now, my They of I, each hand picked by me to provide a group of healthy, intelligent, and supportive individuals. With them as my They of I and with you as my You of I, I feel stable and solid. I know who I am. 

Last week, I “Graduated” from the 12th Perspective of the I of I, and that is when I realized that we all are to repeat the 12 Ethical Stages over again as the You of I and again as the They of I, and a 4th time as the Centered and Defined Self. 

This is Metaphysics as outlined by Aristotle and Pythagoras. And it is also Physics, Astronomy, and Advanced Psychology. Geometry and Mathematics. Even Economics, especially Economics is here. All of these subjects are starting to merge all into themselves. And the summation of all subjects is Philosophy.

With this recent conflict we had, I saw you get mad and withdraw and I realized… finally, that you were hurt and so you withdraw back into your Comfort Zone and your bubble. Good. That is exactly what you are supposed to do when you need to self-soothe. It is not a punishment or “lashing out.” It is the ultimate form of self-care. 

And, today, I suddenly realized, this is how it is supposed to be. And I am supposed to share this information with you. That I have my “bubble.” And you have yours. And whenever either of us has the need, we must withdraw back into our bubble and self-nurture and self-soothe. This is Self-Care.

But… I am here, outside of your proverbial door, waiting patiently for you to come back out when you are ready. And there will be times when I too withdraw into my bubble. And that this is how it was always supposed to be. 

That we are never supposed to enter into each other’s bubbles. That is where we went wrong before. We merged our bubbles in the mental illness that is Codependency and, in so doing, we both lost our “safe place” and our comfort zones where we both could withdraw to self-soothe, recover, and heal. 

Now, we have a kind of… neutral zone between us where you and I meet and we talk, we visit, and we play. And, when either you or I have the need, we always have our bubbles to withdraw to. Before, I always saw your bubble as a threat. I saw the bubble as an “act or declaration of unlove or rejection.” Even abandonment. I know now that this is false. 

Today, after clearing this Narcissism from my head these last two days, I was able to see your act of withdrawing as a beautiful and healthy way for you to address your own mental battles while I address mine… And, you know, I think this is what “Peopling” is all about. 

Peopling. This is what we are learning together, I think. “How to People properly.” That it is a learned balance of playing within our shared neutral zone and then knowing when to retreat to our comfort zones… and knowing that… it is going to be okay and that I am not going to leave you during your retreat. And every bone in my being right now is telling me that I need to tell you this.

That I am to reassure you that you can withdraw, set boundaries, and heal yourself and that I am happy to see you do this. And that I will patiently wait and be here for you when you are ready to play again 🙂 It is safe to take care of yourself. It is safe for you to “save” yourself. 

I think… my mental sickness, all mental sickness, makes us think that the retreating was a form of rejection and “if you self-soothe yourself, then I will reject you because your retreat was an attack on me.” 

So we all stopped self-soothing because our “loved ones” threatened to reject us should we all return to our bubbles. It was not safe to save ourselves.

And that mindset is now gone and out of me. And I have to tell you all of this now. Like in a journal entry. 

Because you are my You of I, I need to update you and inform you. And while you are withdrawn, I can use this time to reflect on what I did to you and… using the lessons of the 12 Ethics I have learned, I can analyze my behavior and determine what I did wrong and how to correct it. So that, when next you come out to play, I will know how to handle you more gently and kindly. 

Because I value you. I think the You of I is Shared Love with another. The I of I is Self Love, which we all should have mastered by the age of 12. But we didn’t. At 24, we should have had the You of I mastered. The They of I is Love with the Community. The fourth Stage is Love for the World and All.

And Love is only Value without profit or gain.

So, I wanted and needed to share this with you because it is time I start including you in this.

I love you. 


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