we are not born with the full spectrum of emotions. Enjoyment is one that not only has eluded me, but also, is the answer to a question I have been asking for a long time now:
“What is the purpose of Love?”
In my recent recovery and shedding of Narcissism, this healing has allowed me to finally feel and experience Wisdom Love. And with love, came the feeling of “Enjoyment.”
To Enjoy. To share in Joy with another. To wallow in Joy. To celebrate.
I understood Business Partners and Friendships and Clients long before I understood any other type of relationship.
“The purpose of relationships is to build something together and to come together on a shared project or idea.”
But Love? That is the act of Valuing without profit or gain.
Then why would I love?
There is no reason for love. We just do.
But what is the purpose?
I imagined what it may be like if my partner were to return and ask me about us attempting another Adventure together.
“Why?” I imagined asking him. “What would be the purpose of such interaction?”
In my meditations, that is when I realized… “Enjoyment” would be the reason.
Friendship is a word that is still too tainted for me to accept. All of my friends are currently in between projects with me at the moment. My friends are all colleagues and business partners collaborating with me. For me, there is no difference between business and friendship. “If we’re not building something together, then we’re not interacting.”
For me, friendship requires purpose.
But love? There is no purpose. It just is. Why? To enjoy. Nothing else.
Can I have a friendship to just enjoy?
That concept has no allowance in my current Logical Health. I will shelve that concept for later.