“You cannot accept a Change in the Cognitive Core Processing until and unless you know you’re going to be okay.”
You must have Proof of Concept that you will be okay.
And the Unit cannot be divided. All parts of the Self MUST be able and ready to accept and make the shift.
The decision to accept the Change in the Cognitive Core must be Unanimous. The Self Cannot be Divided. Depression will ensue if the Unit is Divided.
Today, I felt the Values finally accept the Change of “the breakup.”
Identity is not a problem. It was the Values and my Loyalty for my Values that would not allow for the Change in Cognitive Core Processing.
The Beliefs and Logical Fallacies, if there was a Change, would create a Contradiction between the Beliefs and the Values. That is not allowed. The Values must be Honored. By changing the Beliefs and the Logical Fallacies and changing the DEFINITION of “The Rules,” that I had to acknowledge his Autonomy.
I did not acknowledge or allow for his Autonomy.
The First Ethic.
To Acknowledge and Allow for Self Autonomy. In the You of I, this means Acknowledge and Allow for the Mate’s Autonomy. This Ethic MUST be accepted.
The Defined Autonomy.
The Defined Unconditional Belonging.
The Discipline of Emotional Domination with Logical and Imaginative Balance of Problem Solving.
To end our relationship was to compromise my Values and Ethics. The Self cannot operate when it is divided against the Ethics. The Ethics are… the Brain of the Unit.
Ethic are at the Core of all resistance to Change. The Resistance to Change is due to the Loss of Defined Self that will be compromised if the Ethics are in Danger of being Violated.
When a Break Up occurs, the Individual who resists the Break Up believes that they will not be okay, that the Break Up will compromise their Ethics, which threatens the Safety of the Individual. And so the Subconscious Mind resists this Change.
To resolve, the Logical Fallacies must be identified that contradict the Ethical Values.
Example : “If I do not remain vigilant to help him/Save him, then I will not fulfill my role/promise to be there if he needs.”
This belief results in constant obsessive thoughts to “swoop in” and “save him” should he need it.
To not do so, would be to compromise the Ethic :
I must uphold my promises or I will not be honorable.
“I am reliable.”
What if you are not reliable?
“Then I will be dishonorable. I will be someone who cannot be counted on. I will have let him down in a time of need.”
“And that will damage his trust in me.”
With the acceptance that he has refused my offer and title of “My King,” I am able to end the obsession and “put down” the responsibility of remaining forever vigilant.
“But what if the next individual were to pick this up? Would the obsession be there, ready to pick up and resume where this concept has left off?”
“Yes,” I want to say.
“And how would you resolve this so that it ends, once and for all instead of resuming with each and every relationship?”
“It is the “Save Others” and Super Hero Stage #1 of Narcissism that is the problem. That I associate “Reliable” with “Super Hero.” Someone to be “Counted On.” It is the acceptance of Responsibility that is not mine. That if I do not drop the world for them, then they will suffer because of me.”
That is misplaced responsibility from guilt. A Narcissist in your past “punished” you with Ethics/Guilt/Shame to manipulate your Beliefs to think that you being someone “Reliable” and someone who can be “counted on” in a time of a need is a value that is honorable.
Is it?
Is “Reliability” and “Being Counted On” linked to trust? Because that really is what is compromised here. I am not “trustworthy” if I cannot be relied on. This is old. This is deep. This is a painful trauma that is so engrained… It is old. Let’s dig deeper.
*Smokes Weed*
*Meditates*
Let’s go deeper.
To rely on someone… To Depend on…
Reliable + Depend + Trust…
What is Trust? Strength from the Old Norse “Traust” … Meaning “Strength in Truth”
Trust means “Strength in Truth.”
There is always TRUTH in our WORDS.
I know my Norsemen. They valued a Word of Honor above all else. It was the Promise Bond. It was Honor Bound that you DO what you SAY. And that is Truth.
It is not about “Depending” on anyone. It is about your skill in Honoring your WORD. It is not LYING…
Lying is a Broken Word of Promise.
Reliability is Toxic. It nurtures “Dependency” and is often used to manipulate a Promise or Strength in Truth. The Old Norse were Honor Bound.
Now… Correct the Logic in the Fallacy.
I do not have to be reliable. I do not have to be depended on.
I do have to keep my word.
And my word was that I would always be there for him if he needs.
So wait for him to call on you.
I do not want love that is obligated. I want love that is chosen for Joy. Always. I never want a love that is honor bound. Love should never be honor bound. For one cannot control Love. Love is to be Free. But Honor and Beliefs are used to manipulate and bind, enslave Love. Freedom is Love without obligation. Slavery is Love by Force either through Fear, Manipulated Honor, Guilt, or Shame. Which is, in fact, not love at all.
Love cannot be anything, but free.
Love ceases to exist the moment one tries to force, manipulate, control… *laughing* Love can only exist in the purest form of Freedom.